New Class! Mindfulness for Anxiety and Dealing with Difficult People

The holidays are quickly approaching and for some it’s a time of joy and excitement.  For others it can be stressful and anxiety producing.  If the thought about being around your family brings some dread or resistance, then this is the class for you!

This 6-week class will give you the practical skills to stay calm and learn to deal with the difficult people in your life with confidence.

Sign up for the whole 6 weeks or come drop in for a class!​

See you there!

Are You Feeling Empowered or Powerless?

When we allow our emotions to be controlled by someone else we hand over our power and that leaves us powerless.

When we get a spark of anger or hatred we have to be aware of how we feel and actively choose to not feed that feeling. (How we build new neural pathways.)

What we feed grows.

If we feed the anger and hatred it grows…inside of us…and emanates from us. Essentially we become what we dislike. When we choose to be the peace, love, and joy we want to see in the world, we become empowered, we retain our power, and we emanate peace, love and joy out into the world.

Hence the saying, “Be the peace you want to see in the world.”

Chronic Stress is Contributing to Your Anxiety and Depression

What a great video! I love that it drives home the point that we will always have stress in our lives and how we RESPOND to it is what matters most. If you are continually angry, sad, frustrated, or irritable, and your relationships are suffering because of it, you may need help “resetting” yourself emotionally. That’s where I can help!

Feeling Joy First Leads To Success

“…the measure of success is absolutely the amount of joy you feel.”

Take a minute and think about a time when you felt pure joy. Oftentimes we think of moments that were life-defining. When we proposed to our sweetheart and heard “YES!” Or maybe our wedding day, or the day our first child was born, or when we got that new job, that raise or promotion.  Unfortunately for many of us our emotions fluctuate fairly rapidly and it’s rare that we can maintain that feeling of pure joy.  But what if it didn’t have to be this way? What if we could live joyful, or joy-filled, lives and experience this joy a majority of the time? Well, we can!

“Yeah, right!” I hear you saying.  Give me a minute to explain… What we’re talking about is viewing your life from a bit of a different perspective.  Instead of a perspective of LACK – “I’ll feel joy when I get that raise, meet the right person, lose 20 lbs, etc.” – and shift into a thinking of ABUNDANCE – “Everything is exactly as it needs to be. All I need to be is myself. Everything I need to know is already within me.” See the difference?

Here’s what I want you to try: Write down the above messages of Abundance on sticky notes and stick them on places you look often – on the microwave, on your dashboard, at the bathroom mirror, on your computer screen. Make an effort to look at the messages and remember that feeling of Joy.  Soon you’ll start to associate the two together – the feeling of Joy with the message “Everything is exactly as it needs to be.” Stick with it for 21-30 days and see what happens.  This is how long it takes to make a shift in belief, perspective or behavior change.  You are actually building new neural pathways in your brain.  The more attention you give the new perspective, and don’t give attention to the former perspective, the stronger the new perspective of Abundance becomes and the perspective of Lack begins to die off.  Remember, what we feed, grows. Give it a try!  What do you have to lose?!

When we focus on Joy FIRST, our lives will begin to shift so we experience success in multiple areas.  If there is an area that seems like a problem area now – your relationship, your job, your living situation – they will work themselves out as you are focusing on joy.  This might mean they will begin to bring you joy in new ways because you are seeing them differently OR see clearly now that there is no way they will bring you joy and you will make confident decisions to move beyond them.

Wouldn’t it be AWESOME to feel Joy AND Confidence?!  Oh yeah, it can happen.  You can do it.  Stay focused and give it 21-30 days.  Be gentle with yourself. You will mess up but chalk it up to a learning experience and keep moving forward. Growth comes with growing pangs. And if you find you need some help, I’m always here to be a guide (and cheerleader!). Keep at it! I believe in you!​

How to Respond When You Get Triggered

The holidays are upon us and that usually means lots of time with our extended family. Do you dread this time of year or certain aspects of it? Do you wish you had ways to cope with the parts you don’t enjoy? Is there that certain someone who triggers something within you every time you see or talk to them?

Remember this:  You only have control over yourself…how you think about things, your behaviors, how you are feeling, and what you say.

  1. Act, don’t react to the times when you are triggered.  This means slowing yourself down enough to regain control of the situation by choosing how you want to respond (if at all) to inappropriate or mean comments or people. Or have a plan for how to respond before you are in the situation.  “If he says something mean, I will just look at him blankly while taking some deep breaths to soothe myself or if I decide I can’t not say anything I’ll just say, Huh, that’s an interesting perspective, or , Huh, that’s a good question, I’ll have to think about that.”
  2. Acknowledge and validate your feelings that get triggered and validate them, “Of course I want to scream at her for commenting about my weight, that was inappropriate for her to say.” Take a deep breath and know that you have zero control over that other person and instead you will take control of yourself and respond appropriately, if at all.
  3. Let yourself off the hook.  Often we think we have to respond to negative comments or inappropriate questions so we can defend our self or to make sure the other people in the conversation don’t feel awkward.  Remember to be your best adult self and sometimes saying nothing at all communications more than we could ever say with words. In fact, if we don’t respond, it shifts the awkwardness back to the sender.

Ultimately be gentle and tender with yourself and others.  Allow each new moment to unfold as it needs to.  Trust that you will do your best in each new moment and allow others the opportunity to be their best in each new moment.

Out-of-Control Anger

When you get angry at someone or something you are giving your power and control over to that person or thing. You react in an “angry” manner because you are trying to regain your power and control. How do you stop this cycle? You have to find your power and control from within yourself, not from outside of yourself.