Honorable Closure: Dealing With Grief and Loss

The themes of grief, loss, and mourning have been coming up a lot lately for me personally and in my practice.  I’m remembering something from Linda A. Curtis that I want to share with you about Honorable Closure.  She has a four step process for saying goodbye and moving on that  can be applied to many different areas of our lives.

The first step has to do with Gratitude (a favorite of mine!): Tell the Old Story in a New Way.

The second step is about Willingness: Resolve any​ Regrets

Forgiveness is the third step: Let go and Let it be

Reclaiming Joy (experiencing joy is sooo important!!!) is the fourth step: Invent the Next Story

Allow these concepts to percolate and see what comes up.  Be patient with yourself and what you are feeling.  It won’t last forever but it is here right now so pay attention to what needs to be done.

Peace, Megan

Divorce Proofing Your Marriage: Fondness and Admiration

Nurture Your Fondness and Admiration for One Another – Something brought you together initially.  Can you remember what it was?  Be in that memory for a few moments. Doesn’t it feel good to remember that excitement and newness? Marriage has a lot of ups and downs but the more you can focus on the positives and weather the down times well, you’ll be in good shape.

Fondness and Admiration are antidotes for Contempt (remember those Four Horsemen?!). When you start to get sarcastic, cynical, roll your eyes, use hostile humor, or feel an aggressive (or passive-aggressive) anger you are using Contempt. Notice this and let it go.  Don’t judge it or get angry at yourself for falling into it (again?!).  Just move on and focus on the things you admire about your partner and your relationship together.

Focus on those things in your relationship that FEEL GOOD!